Laughing at Ghana; Crying for Nigeria

I had since yesterday marked a publication on GhanaWeb; I intended to blog about it. Just this evening, I saw a leading news on the same website. I thus decided to combine the two in this blog post.

The Feature Article for yesterday 18th July 2007 on GhanaWeb was titled: In Ghana 1+1 = 3. One can be forgiven for laughing. The author (Kojo Poku) had picked some abnormalities in Ghana, wrapped them with some humour, and still managed to present them in a thought-provoking manner. I’m obliged to re-publish the entire script, in other not to take away from the pleasure you would derive in reading the entire thing here and now:

• 1. A Ghanaian minister earns $600-a-month, buys three houses for $200,000 each and three cars for $20,000 each, sends his kid to a $10,000-per-year university in the US, pays $20,000 to be allowed to contest for the presidential nomination of his party and his bank balance is still in the black. With such an ‘economic genius’, I wonder why we are still begging for food aid?
• 2. We drive 2007 model automobiles on 1930s roads to our 2007 mansions with 1960s power supply feeding our 2007 Televisions sets broadcasting 1930s ideas from our politician elected in 2004.
• 3. Load Sharing seems to have very little effect on the economy. According to our government, the economy is even growing faster than ever before. Light your candles and let’s get rid of Akosombo Dam!
• 4. According to our Minister for Information and National Orientation – Oboshie Sai-Coffie: “31 days have September, April, June & November, all the rest do no matter, except February alone which cannot yet make up her mind on how many days it shall have”
• 5. Ghana’s “quick & dirty” solution to solving economic woes: Slash 4 zeros from your currency, name the process re-denomination and “Viola” your economy is as “strong” as the United States’. Eat your heart out Adam Smith. Is Mugabe reading?
• 6. Our president and his predecessor cannot unite, yet we have the guts to chair and expect success from an African Union summit to unite 51 African countries. Unity begins at home!
• 7. The current load sharing is due to the low level of water in the Volta Lake, caused by less rainfall. We are in the process of starting another $600m hydro-electric project. I hope our policymakers have a promise from God that in 5 years time, there will be rain, rain & more rain ALWAYS.
• 8. For “obtaining” the African Union’s rotating presidency, President Kufuor was mobbed when he returned home. Since “Rotating” is now an achievement in Ghana, I’ll suggest we celebrate the earth’s rotation … big party every 24 hours.
• 9. According to the bible/Koran, Fornication, Adultery and Homosexuality are all sins. According to the Ghanaian holy book, only the latter is a sin.
• 10. We the people of Ghana are being told that, the president’s son who could not raise $1,000 in 2000 for his father’s campaign was able to raise $8million three years later, to buy a hotel? No wonder 1+1 is equal to 3 in Ghana.

🙂 Whilst I am laughing at Ghana, I had better been crying for Nigeria, with the other side of my mouth. Why? The widespread insecurity in Nigeria, especially in the Niger Delta area, is pushing some oil companies to consider re-locating their administrative staff to neighbouring West African countries.

Some of the oil companies that have become weary of the persistent crisis and hostage taking in the Nigeria’s Niger Delta are planning to relocate their administrative headquarters to neighbouring West African countries of Ghana, Togo and Benin Republic. This is part of their strategy to guarantee the safety of their expatriate staff and their families.

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According to the Nigerian newspaper, Business Day, the companies, also want a situation where their expatriate staff would live in the neighbouring countries and come to their operational bases by helicopters and are then flown back to their places of abode after work.

I can’t help feeling sorry for Nigeria.